He doesn’t see imperfections why do I?

I know ladies…we are on a whole other level than our guys. They love us and yet we have issues with loving ourselves and our bodies.

Do you wonder why you can’t stand when your boyfriend touches your ass or stomach? Does it make you feel disgusting or insecure? I know it did for me and at times it still does but I am now able to shake it. You know why?

Because I have learned to love myself deeply. This is not something that is easy or that you can just turn on, it takes work.

Before writing this article I asked for some real girl advice besides my own on why we feel “less than beautiful” and this is what I got:

  • past relationships that screwed you up in the head
  • the media
  • stress
  • past issues that have nothing to do with him
  • insecurity in body image, what i can see in the mirror

There are so many reasons and they are completely understandable and as long as you know what you are going through or what you are feeling is normal, you can get through this.

PAST RELATIONSHIPS:

Over time being in an unhappy or unfulfilling relationship issues will develop therefore making you feel shitty about yourself. Or maybe you had a bad experience or fought a lot during your time with that person causing you to feel crummy. Maybe it was divorce that ended that part of your life and is now blocking your ability to move on or experience self-acceptance. Could have been abuse in anyway (physical, emotional, verbal) as well.

All of these are perfectly excellent reasons to feel down right shitty about yourself and your life and it is NORMAL.

THE MEDIA:

Oh boy could i go on forever about this. The media completely screws us up in the head. They tell us how we “should be” doing everything. From what we eat, to what we wear, to who we date, to when we should take a shit, oh and of course WHAT OUR BODY SHOULD LOOK LIKE.

Remember EVERYTHING out there is to make profit and there are so many companies out there who call themselves “health and wellness” who are in reality out there to make you FEEL like something is wrong with you and you NEED to buy their product that will help you lose 10 lbs in 10 days.

Look at the stick thin models out there who look like they haven’t eaten in weeks to fit into that outfit and for what? To promote a company, or to make themselves feel good? Think about it, would you want to starve yourself to fit into an outfit to look good or to feel amazing for someone other than yourself?

STRESS:

Stress will kill you, remember that. In so many ways stress sucks and brings you down in everyway. It kills your mood, makes you angry, depressed, self-loathing. It makes you eat and eat and eat. It makes you drink, it makes you snap at your loved ones. Stress sucks.

PAST ISSUES THAT HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH HIM:

Maybe you have spent most of your life dealing with body issues before he came around. Or went through something traumatic in your life that has brought your self- esteem down. Maybe you have been to therapy or talked to friends because of family problems or problems in school or at work.  These can all contribute to your self-love-lessness

INSECURITY IN BODY IMAGE: that damn mirror

Have you wondered why you can lose the weight? And does that stupid scale and mirror destroy your body image? Have you stopped to think why? Did you go through something in your life that may have cause you to gain weight? Such as any of the above topics or maybe YOU PUSHED A SMALL HUMAN THROUGH YOUR VAGINA.

A favorite move of mine and my favorite scene from it… A MUST WATCH

You need to choose to love yourself for YOU however you APPEAR in that mirror.  I even suggest you get rid of the long  mirror that haunts you. Or the scale that everyone despises. We have reasons why we can’t seem to love ourselves but there are reasons why and there is a way out.

Matteo De Girolamo-  awesome dude from the mommacast group says when i asked for help with this article

I can’t answer your question as I am a man. What I can tell you as that me personally, I feel very insecure when I’m first with a woman, until she can make me feel comforatable about myself and I try my best to do the same for her. But I know what you mean. I see the shiftness in the eyes when we’re getting intimate. I see how she won’t look at her own body even though I’m looking in extreme delight

Learning to love ourselves is huge in our recovery and in our overall happiness in life. We need to know that we are beautiful regardless. An we need to remember that the men in our lives love us for who we are and they admire the bodies we have, just as they are….

xoxo, laurenjean

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