Hey mommas! I wanted to get this out earlier but due to family being so much fun, i did not, and ya know what? I’m not sorry. Family to me is the most important and I hope it tops your charts as well. I knew this guest post would be great for new year’s as well and a great way to look at your new year’s so-called resolutions (which I am not a believer in)
I asked a special guest of mommacast to craft an intriguing post for my readers so I know you will enjoy this!
I have heard the following words in some way or the other lately: “I don’t understand it. I crave sugar, chocolate, sweets as crazy, although my family eats super clean and healthy. My mom taught me to love veggies, stay away from processed foods and only eat healthy treats. Even my grandma was health conscious and was a great cook. So I don’t understand, why I have the need for sweets, if it has never been instilled in me??!! Please help me understand this!”
One of our deepest needs is to belong. So in order to belong, many of us chose early on to be “good girls, daughters, and sister”, to be “good boys, sons, and brothers”. We made sure we knew the rules, and abide by them. We wouldn’t want to upset anyone.
But there is something else in us. Our free spirit, the one that only wants to play by her/his own rules and desires. So by choosing the good girl/ good boy label, we also deny our free spirit to be heard. We believe that we could upset the family system tremendously, if we allowed the free spirit to have a voice in our life choices.
Imagine your free spirit deciding to really say what you think. It could decide that you won’t help your neighbor, support a friend in need. It could tell you to take risks, to have an opinion contrary to your mentors… You would end up being NAUGHTY. And for decades we have been taught, brainwashed I want to say, that being NAUGHTY was NOT ALLOWED. Santa would not bring presents to naughty children. Only the NICE ones were rewarded – with belonging to the family, with gifts, and with appreciation. Nice kids are in, all others are outsiders.
We start labeling NAUGHTY people as selfish, egocentric, mean, unkind, angry, without taste, etc.
But we could also look at them as: freedom seekers, people who speak their mind, people who are obligated to their very own truth. They may be risk takers, passionate lovers, adventurers, individualists, people who will follow their own calling and heart not willing to sacrifice their life for the family peace.
But when we are stuck with the role of the NICE KID?
Then our only chance is to be naughty when no one is looking, and to make naughty choices that won’t make us be disloyal to our parents, our family. Our free spirit wants to be heard, as much as our need to belong and be accepted. So we choose food. It has been the most (ab)used substance to avoid major upsets in people’s lives. If we can’t control others, we at least can control food. If we can’t be naughty anywhere else, at least we can follow our cravings…
You want to get away from your chocolate cravings? Your cake binges? Your ice cream feasts late at night?
Try something else that you have never done before. Show your edge, color outside the lines, be drastic, speak your mind, stand up for your own truth, get angry, dance wildly, run naked, seduce a lover, and break a rule…
Embrace naughty. It is as much part of you as “being nice”. There is a place for everything. Honor the times when nice is appropriate, and honor the times when your naughty wants to be seen.
With a fierce and fiery heart,
Soul Body Health Coach